Bona Fide Psycho

It's official. Law school has turned me into a complete psycho! Not a funny, zany, spontaneous person - good to have a parties and mixers, but a bona fide whack job. I turned in my final summer school assignment today after 8 hours of tears, screaming, threats, and gnashing of teeth. I think that at one point, my husband suggested I calm down, and gave him the finger while simultaneously biting my tongue and rolling my eyes into the back of my head.

Dear God - Who wants me? I know this man I married is just biding his time until the bell rings and he gets to collect on that small island nation he was promised for tolerating my inane theatrics for the last 14 years. Before he leaves, please let me meet another man with a similar name so I don't regret the tattoo on my ass quite so much. - Amen

Well, at least it's over - for now. One more year of school, and I'm finally done with the whole damn operation. I remember the first week of my first year, when I met my mentor. When I asked about her 1L year, she said she and her husband had divorced before spring break. What's an appropriate gift for a man who makes it through undergrad, grad school, and law school without putting you on a litigation chain gang and cashing your paychecks while he travels the world following Jill Scott's new album release tour? The usual undignified favors just don't seem to apply. I guess I'll just have to take it one step at a time...

Step 1: Say thank you.

Step 2: Don't be psycho.

Step 3: Put some lotion on that ashy tattoo and raise it in his direction.

In celebration of the end of another hellish chapter in my academic career, I'm offering a toast: "Here's to psychotic women everywhere, and the saintly men who continue to love them in spite of all grades of foolishness."