Bug Juice

When I was 9, my parents gave my sister a Kool-Aid stand. The point was to put it together, set it up on the street, and sell Kool-Aid. Well, my sister never did that (not for business anyway). But I decided that this was an opportunity for me to become the true financial impresario I was meant to be. There was one problem: not enough sugar. The day I opened my stand I had a choice to make. I had 4 packs of Kool-Aid and 3 cups of sugar. If I did it the right way, I'd choose two flavors (grape and red - the people's favorite, right?), and I'd proceed with the beginning of an empire. Somehow I got lost in flights of flavorful fancy. What if I had more?! I could use half the sugar and have four flavors! It was set. I'd sacrifice sweetness for selection, and invite the public into my flavorful utopia. I set up the stand. I brought out my pitchers, and opened my cash box.

10 cents for a small!

25 cents for a medium!

50 cents for a large!

I was ready. "Come one, come all. Experience the best refreshment in town!" 10 minutes went by. 15. 1 hour went by. 2. Finally, after 3 hours in 90+ degree conditions, I got a customer! A simple and honest working man, with no air condition in his pickup truck stopped at MY kool-aid stand for a drink! His truck was bright orange, with an anonymous bug on top. It was the Terminex man - our local rid-a-bug hero in the hood. He was a great public servant, and with high waters, mullet, and all, he'd chosen ME - yes ME - to provide the libations for quenching his thirst. I asked him, "What would you like? I have a good selection!" He said, "I'll take a large tropical punch please." Without hesitation, I filled his glass. I was short on sugar, but I was big on flavor baby! And I couldn't wait to take my first customer on the taste sensation ride of his life!

He took one gulp, looked at me like I had poisoned the fountain of youth, and spit the contents of his mouth out on the ground. He dumped the entire large cup onto the grass, and screwed his face up like a toddler on a pickle. He took a $5 bill out of his pocket, threw it on the counter of my Kool-Aid stand, and told me to shut it down!

I shut it down, and cried my eyes out. I knew where my weakness lied. It was the sugar! It was the damned sugar!!!!!! Why'd I have to go with four flavors?! Why not two?! Grape and Red are ALWAYS crowd pleasers!!!

This was one of my most important life lessons. When you've made a poor choice in judgment, don't be salty. Suck it up, and take responsibility. I mean, it wasn't the bug man's fault the kool-aid was bad. Learn from your mistakes. Own your own misjudgment, and move forward with accountability.

Today, my Dad told me to call someone to inspect his house for termites. I thought about it for a minute. "No problem Dad! I got this! But I'll be damned if I'm going to call Terminex!" Those mother f*****s owe me a dream, dammit! They owe me a dream!!!